Navtej Kohli’s Corporate Terminology
Know the real meaning Corporate Terms on Navtej Kohli Business Blog.
- 404 - Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error message “404 Not Found.”. Used as in: “Don’t bother asking him…he’s 404.”
- ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
- ALPHA GEEK - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group.
- BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
- CHAINSAW CONSULTANT - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands.
- CHIPS AND SALSA - Chips = hardware, salsa = software. i.e.: “Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem’s in your chips or your salsa.”
- CLM - Career Limiting Move - Ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
- CUBE FARM - An office filled with cubicles.
- DEINSTALLED - Euphemism for being fired. Voice mail message: “You have reached the number of a deinstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance.”
- DILBERTED - To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. “I’ve been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week.”
- FLIGHT RISK - Employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.
- G.O.O.D. Job - A “Get-Out-Of-Debt” job. A well-paying job taken to pay off debts, - they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
- MOUSE POTATO - The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the Couch Potato.
- OHNO-SECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake.
- PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - Whacking an electronic device to get it to work again.
- PRAIRIE DOGGING - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.
- SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves.
- STRESS PUPPY - A person who thrives on being stressed out and whiny.
- TREEWARE - Documentation or other printed material.
- XEROX SUBSIDY - Swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace.
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